First, there's this headline from the Associated Press: “Man Allegedly Attacks Girlfriend Over Macaroni.”
Now, if Macaroni were some Italian guy the girlfriend was having a fling with, you could understand this headline. But no, it seems our intrepid felon did indeed go after the old lady because she cooked him a pasta dinner. Banged her in the head with the pot she used to cook it, in fact. Left a bruise.
Might be an Atkins Deprivation freakout, you would think, but that's no